The Net

  This is an essay I got to write while applying for a new college. I liked the idea and i wanted to share it with the world.

Also, a few of the the thoughts are much better expressed in The Icarus Deception found here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Icarus-Deception-High-Will/dp/1591846072/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374801279&sr=8-1&keywords=the+icarus+deception

 Go read it. Now!


  As man first emerged from his cave and gazed up into the stars, he wondered if he was alone. He sought comfort in others, and began to form communities. Each person spent his life building relationships, gaining friends and acquaintances. As mankind has advanced through time we have grown to larger and larger communities. We’ve created cities, and suburbs, and nations. But still man was alone, still we were separated by distance, by time, or by language. Until the Net.

    I remember times without the internet, and I remember being able to live without it. however, it has now permeated so much of our daily, personal and professional lives, that it’s hard to remember how we even functioned as a society, before it came about.

    The internet has changed everything. before its emergence, people were still segregated into remote communities, almost everyone a person was acquainted with lived relatively closely. People received news that was spun from newspapers or off of television, and research was done with books.

    Research. This seems like a pretty obvious advantage, considering my current frame of mind. When i was in Middle school i remember trying to write a report on the poem “The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe. In order to do research on the poem, i visited the library, checked out a book of his collected works, borrowed a biography, furiously squeezed as much information out of the single paragraph of my text book, and wrote.

    A few days ago, i was speaking to a coworker, about “The Raven” and mentioned how it was my favorite poem. To my horror, he had never heard of it. I was aghast! So in order to help educate my poor lost coworker, i again researched the poem. This time. I pulled up the poem on a webpage, and emailed him a link to the poem, as well as a link to Eddie’s Wiki page. The ease of finding out any information (both factual and erroneous) with the click of a mouse button is staggering.

    The most important effect the net has had on our lives however, is one of connectivity. We can now be connected with anyone from anywhere with a few keystrokes. Social Media, Blogs, Videos, Wiki’s, the ways people connect is limitless. People sharing their thoughts, and feelings. putting themselves out there and hoping to make that special connection. The net has given us something special. it has given us a kind of freedom that in unparalleled in history. Anyone can do anything, and they can get it out to other people.

    If someone is a musician. They don’t need to hope to get signed to a record deal, and they don’t have to simply play in bars. If someone wants to get his music out there, he simply posts it on a blog, or a social network. If someone loves to write, they can simply write, post, and share their gift with the world. If someone wants to make people laugh, they can post videos on YouTube, and share their wit with the world. We no longer have to ask people’s permission to dream. We can finally connect, we can finally be whatever we want to be, without even needing to leave the home. Man has spent his entire existence trying to be close to others, and this is the closest we have come. And its a time when we are in separate rooms, still separated by distance, but connected by the net.




   

Alone

So,

I was just playing around with my computer, and I decided i should finally write a song. Not sure it's finished. Or that i'll ever be happy with it. But here it is:

The Case

Ok, so this is a dream I had several years ago, the whole thing was so odd that I lay in bed for several minutes thinking about it. It was a bit unnerving that this is what my subconscious was thinking about while I was sleeping.

The Case

 

I still couldn’t believe how dirty the closet was. There was dirt and dust everywhere, shelves full a huge assortment of useless junk. Broken lamps, bent golf clubs. pots, pans. And plenty of more disreputable paraphernalia. I had decided I would burn most of what I found, but i was starting to think that not even fire could make me feel clean again. The Closet was old, and everything was coated with a slime of age and rot. I felt a rising feeling of nausea, and I was forced to fight back the urge to spill my breakfast around the closet. I thought that might actually improve the smell in the closet, and began chuckling.

            Finally i steeled myself to continue my excursion into the closet, and once again began digging through the filth. Eventually my eyes fell upon an attache case. It was black, simple, and would have been completely unimpressive looking, except the case was completely clean. For some reason it had not been touched by the age or decay that had affected the rest of the closet. I reached out my hands to grab it, and free it from its prison, and just before my fingers closed around it, i felt a flash of, something. I felt a second of horror, of dread, and i hesitated. My curiosity overrode my hesitation, however, and I grasped the case, and yanked it out of its tomb.

            Holding the case, it seemed extremely old, ancient. and yet it seemed fresh, as if it had been made only moments before. There were no markings on the case, it was made of a cool clean black leather, that felt as soft as velvet to the touch. I set the case down on a table and stared at it for a few moments. It looked so innocent sitting on the table, and yet something about the case felt sinister, wrong. Again i hesitated, but eventually I reached forward and thumbed open the locks. The was a quick snap, and the lid sprang open. I felt a pain in my chest, and i realized I had forgotten to breathe. I took a large breath and peeked into the case.

            I was slightly disappointed, the only thing in the case was a single bundle of what appeared to be pictures. I sighed and unwrapped the bundle, deciding I might as well look through them. As I stared at the first picture on the stack, my breath once again caught in my throat, and i found it very hard to breath. I was staring and the most disturbing face I had ever seen before.

            Calling it a face, was rather generous, though the face was definitely male, i couldn’t say for sure that it was human. The pictures, like the case appeared to be ancient, and yet new. The poor quality of the print, and the black and white were the only indication of how old they might truly be. The man in the photo was dark and pale. Stocky, and short. from the neck down he appeared almost normal. a bit shorter and wider than average, perhaps, but normal. from the neck up, however, he was monstrous. His head was badly misshapen thin at the bottom and bulging up toward the top, where sprouted thin wispy dark hair. that looked more like spider webs than actual hair.  His mouth was small and thin, but he did not appear to have any lips, just a small crack in the bottom of his face. He also seemed to be missing a nose. The most striking, and terrifying feature, however were the eyes. He had small black eyes, completely devoid of irises. Small pricks of darkness sprouting amidst a sea of pale flesh. He had twin scars running vertically down his face through the eye. They were dark and splayed open giving his face a cavernous look, and making his eyes seem as if they had sunk deep into pools of decaying and shredded flesh.

            I shuddered, but for some reason I turned to the next picture. I had been prepared for more horrible pictures, but i was surprised by what I saw. This was a picture of a very beautiful woman, in a long expensive looking dress. She was sitting in a chair, and appeared very regal. As i continued to look i noticed that her arms had been tied behind the back of the chair. and as I looked at her face, though she seemed to be calm and regal. Her eyes shone with fear. Behind her eyes, was pure panic, barely constrained.

            I flipped to the next picture, The lady still sat in the chair, however her terror was no longer constrained. The man from the first photo was standing next to her, caressing her cheek, almost lovingly. The next showed the man assembling various tools and instruments, followed by a photo of the man showing the woman, what appeared to be a very large knife. as i turned to the next photo I dropped it with a gasp, the man had bent the knife and began cutting into the woman’s face. she was screaming in agony and terror, and the man’s mouth appeared to be twitched in a smile. for the next photos, thankfully, the man had shifted position, and his body was now concealing any view of what he was doing to the poor woman. as i flipped through the pictures, my sense of horror began to grow, i kept flipping through them robotically, not able to stop, but fearing to continue. Not wanting to see what the man had planned, but unable to stop myself from continuing.

            Finally, the man stepped aside, and i stared in horror. The young woman was still sitting tied to the chair, her face no longer beautiful. she had been scarred and tortured, but somehow she was still alive. The next photo was a close up of the woman’s face, and as i gazed in that picture i realized what the man had done. The face of the woman was familiar. she now had a thin lipless mouth and large scars running down her face that made her eyes look small and dark. her nose was gone, and replaced by a smooth patch of shredded and torn flesh. The man had made her look like him. Once again I was forced to fight back a fit of nausea. and I quickly flipped through the remaining photos, which appeared to be glamour shots of the maniacs work.

          The final picture in the bundle had been taken outside. The man was standing next to a tree, smiling in his own peculiar way, next to him was the woman hanging from the tree, her neck broken, and her body, mercifully, lifeless. I dropped the photos back into the case and began to cry. 

 

Some thoughts on Job

 Ok, So today some thoughts of a more religious nature.

Lately, i’ve been thinking about Job. now most people of my acquaintance think of Job when they are going through a particularly rough patch. and think to themselves. “at least i haven’t suffered as bad as that old guy.” but i’ve been thinking about this take on it, and i’m not sure that is all we can learn from Job. The book of Job has always bothered me, especially the ending; but it wasn’t until recently that i realized why. I think we are completely missing the point of Job.

Ok so a quick overview of the story of Job. Job was a ridiculously rich man, who had lots of awesome kids, an beautiful loving wife, and huge house, and more mustangs than he knew what to do with. Job, though, was special. unlike most rich people in scripture he thanked God for everything he had, and blessed his name. In the story Satan appears before God and tells him. “sure he worships you, you’ve given him everything he’s ever asked for. his life isn’t hard. he’s got it easy. If you were to take away his riches, he would curse you.” God Answers, “Well, you have yourself a bet, go ahead and take away everything he has.” So Satan ransacks Job’s like, takes away all his possessions, his money, and even kills all of his kids. eventually he is cursed with a disease and his wife leaves him.

and that is the part of the story that everyone concentrates on. all of the lessons of Job are pulled from that portion, (even though that tale is done by Chapter 2, and there are 42 Chapters in Job). I can understand that, that part is a story and stories are easy to grasp. The rest of the book of Job is an Epic poem in an ancient hebrew style (think Jewish Iliad) nobody bothers with homer now a days, and we have ever so much more in comment with the Greeks than we do the Hebrews, so this part of the tale gets skipped. But this is the important part of the tale, the crux of the poem, and the reason that it is included in the Old Testament.

Ok so what happens in the rest of the book of Job. Well, Job has three friends. and they decide to swing by Job’s place and see what’s happening. Each of his three friends takes turns trying to convince Job that he must have done something wrong, God wouldn’t punish him like this, unless he deserves it. however, Job responds that he is perfect, and he does not deserve the treatment he received.

The four friends sit around and argue over philosophy for a good chunk of the book, and there are a lot of good things in there. It talks about the Justness of God, the rightness of his acts, that he cannot sin. etc. In fact in these chapters of Job you get a much clearer picture of the attributes of God than you do in any other book of scripture. Through Job’s responses you get insight on the duties of man, and he continually expounds on the fact that sometimes wicked people prosper and righteous people suffer. he says, “Wherefore do the wicked live, become old, yea, are mighty in power. Their seed is established in their sight with them, and their offspring before their eyes. their houses are safe from fear neither is the rod of god upon them (Job 21: 7-9) Job uses this example to show that though they prosper on the Earth, they will pay in the afterlife. He insists that even though he is not prospering on Earth, because he is righteous he will prosper in Heaven.

This banter continues on until Chapter 32, when we learn that there is a fifth person present at this meeting. apparently he is a young man, as such is left entirely out of the conversation. Until it comes to a point, that Job’s friends have nothing more to say. Now at this point it says two interesting phrases. it says, “[his wrath was kindled] against his three friends because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job. (Job 32:3)” This young man, whose name is Elihu was peeved at Job’s three friends, because instead of attempting to understand Job, they condemned him as a sinner. He was angry because they couldn’t understand that something bad might just happen to a good person. They were full of pride, and self-righteousness. This is seen as a point for the good guys. Job is a righteous man, and he has been defended against his accusers.

But.

But then it says something else it says, “against Job was his wrath kindled, because he justified himself rather than God (Job 32:2) This is the actual point of the story of Job. and this is what keeps getting missed. Later Elihu says, “I have heard the voice of thy words, saying. I am clean without transgression I am innocent; neither is there iniquity in me ... Behold, in this thou art not just; i will answer thee, that God is greater than man. (Job 33: 8-12). Elihu is saying that the very act of Job claiming to be righteous is a sin, that that is in fact Job’s sin. Its important to note, that Elihu is not saying that Job deserves the things that happened to him, and he is not saying that they happened because of Job’s sin. He is saying. “Job, buddy. look. you are so close.but you have this one little problem. you still think you know better than God. You need to let it go.”

Eventually Elihu finishes teaching the men, and the Lord himself speaks to Job. This is the part that always bothered me. and i didn’t understand until recently. Growing up and hearing this story it was always understood one way. Job was good, God made a bet, Job went through Hell. God won his bet, God told Job that he had done well. However, that’s not how it happens at all. God comes to Job, and he doesn’t say, good job he says. who do you think you are? Ok, what he really says is, “ where was thou when i laid the foundations of the earth? (Job 38: 4) God comes to Job, after all of these horrible things happened to him, and instead of comforting him. he teaches him. He asks where Job was at the beginning. He expounds on the many works of His hands, and Job can barely even understand a portion of the glory and the works of God. He points to all of the things that he can do, the power, the righteousness, and the Glory. and he dares Job to do the same things he has. He even asks Job, “wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous? (Job 40: 8)

At this Job repents, (read all of Job 42: 1-6 which is marvelous) and says, “i have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore i abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42: 5-6) This is the sin of Job, that in his suffering, he held his righteousness up, instead of looking to the lord. It isn’t until he sees and understands the nothingness of man, that he is able to finally repent.

So, what is the point of Job? I think Elihu says it best, “Stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God.” (Job 37: 14)

Part 1 of the grand adventure

This is a serial I started writing during early weekend mornings at work, when I had little to do. Inspired in part by my neighbor at work Seth, who was less than excited to be included.

Sadly Seth no longer sits next to me at work, so my inspiration has suffered of late. Of course, my productivity at work on Saturday mornings has also skyrocketed. It's possible there is a connection.

Seth and the Pony
Episode 1: Journey into the Forest of Albion
By: S. LeRoy Crane

Seth was standing at the forest’s edge. He had never seen this woodland before, and he was nervous. He could feel the power emanating from the trees, and sense the old magics of the place. He could not understand how something like this could suddenly exist in the world, and he decided that he could live his whole life without knowing the answers to his many questions about the place. Some things are better left alone.
“Seth,” came a voice from the trees, “welcome to the magical forest of Albion!”
Seth turned and came face to face with a magical pony. He could tell it was magical, because it was pink. Also, the fact that it was talking to him was a pretty big give away.
“Come with me Seth, come to the forest of Albion where you will be given three magical items!”
“Uh, thats okay,” Seth replied, “ I don't want to be late for work.”
“Don't be silly,” laughed the pony, “Time is different here, we will have many grand adventures and you will see many wondrous things, and still you will be back in time for work!”
A laughing pony is quite a bit more disturbing than you might think, and Seth decided it was time to leave. He turned around and began walking away from the pony, when suddenly he was standing inside the magical forest beside the pony. Seth was more than a little startled, but before he could begin to walk away again the pony spoke.
“Yay,” Exclaimed the pony, “I am so glad that you decided to come into the forest and play! And now that you are here, you cannot leave until we finish your quest!”
“Great,” grumbled Seth, “Let's get this over with.”
They walked through the forest as the pony danced and sang about the glories of the forest, he pranced here and there, exclaiming how happy he was that Seth was there sharing this adventure with him. Seth meanwhile stalked in silence hoping that this would be over with soon. His stomach began to growl, and he realized he had not eaten breakfast yet. His mind began to wander, and he began to think about eggs and omelets, and decided that if there was time he would cook him one before going to work.
“We are here!” cheered the pony.
And they were indeed there, though where there was, Seth had no idea. He was still in the middle of the forest, following an insane pink pony, without his breakfast, and still worried he would be late for work. Suddenly a small man with pointed ears floated down from one of the nearby trees.
“Hello Seth, I am the wood elf Marby, I am here to bestow your first magical item upon you.” The elf then pulled a small furry ball out of his pocket and handed it to Seth. “This is a wig of the finest quality, with long lustrous fibers, and long luxurious locks of hair. It will help you on your quest!”
“Uh, thanks?” Responded Seth. He couldn't help wonder why he would need a wig, especially since he already had a full head of long luxurious locks of hair. He wasn't about to ask the elf, however, he figured if he kept his mouth shut it would be over much quicker.
“You are very welcome, may the heart of the forest, and the spirits of the trees be well upon you on your travels. And may the wisdom of all the fey folk be a blessing on your head,” verbosed the elf, and with a twinkle of his eye he was gone.
Seth sighed and turned to the pony, “so, where do we go now?”
“Now we go deep into the swamps of Albion to the wooden marshes and the hut of the witch Tina,” exuberated the pony, much too exuberantly.
So they began to walk, and forest began to become far less tree filled, and much more mud filled. They marched through swamp and bog, till finally they reached marsh. The pony kept dancing and prancing the whole way, however, every once in a while he would get stuck and fall face first in the muck. He did not seem to be put down by these falls, but it did give Seth a bit of pleasure every time the pony cried out in fright.
Finally they came upon a small wooden hut. The hut was sitting above the marsh on what appeared to be chicken legs, and the walls and trim appeared to be made from candies. The house had an over reaching feel of decrepitude, and Seth wanted to get this part over with as soon as possible. Seth began wondering if he could sneak away, when the door burst open, and a very large woman emerged from the house.
“I am Tina, The witch of the marsh!” eked the woman, “Welcome to the wooden marshes!”
Tina more rolled through the marsh than walked, as she approached Seth, he got the sense of a great cloud rolling through the countryside. As she moved every inch of her molded and swayed, jiggled or moved around the very currents of the air. The witch no longer just looked fat, she looked immense. She was no longer obese, she was obesity itself. Seth attempted not to gag, with very little success.
“I give unto you the water of life! This water will never run out, and it will always remain cold! You will never be thirsty as long as you keep my gift near you!”
Tina reached into the folds of her robes, and pulled out a very dingy, cheap looking plastic bottle of water. She clutched it in her meaty hand for a few moments and then pressed it into Seth's hand.
“Thanks,” Seth mumbled.
“Now go away!” Tina cried, I have had enough of you, and it is time for my supper.” Tina then turned and rolled back into her house, and slammed the door behind her.
“Wasn't she just amazing!” the pony exclaimed, “but, alas, we must now move on to your next item! Climb on my back, for our next stop is too far for you to make on your own!”
So Seth climbed upon the back of the pony and they began to ride. Beneath their feet the ground began to move faster and faster, until it became a blur before Seth's eyes. The trees gave way to plain, then to rocks, and eventually to mountains. The pony continued to gain speed, and Seth became dizzy.
Suddenly they stopped, and Seth found himself standing before an immense cave. He could barely see past the entrance, it seemed to be darkness upon darkness inside, as if light itself was afraid to enter.
“This is the most dangerous part of our quest,” whispered the pony, “we must be careful.”
Seth entered the cave, the desire to have the whole thing over and done with overwhelmed any sense of fear he might have had. He crossed into the cave and began to feel his way through the dark. The pony entered the cave, and began to snort and sneeze, and a magical goo began spraying from his nostrils. Anything it touched was lit up with a faint pink glow, that smelled like strawberries. Seth began to follow the path of snot and continued down into the dank, dark, and dusky cave. Soon, they came upon a great greenish form, and Seth soon saw that it was some kind of lizard.
“Welcome to my home, young Seth. I see you have brought me a snack! I do love eating magical ponies.” growled the lizard.
“No,” responded Seth.
“Ha!” Laughed the lizard. His laugh echoed and boomed through the cave, and the air began to heat up as hot air and fire bubbled forth from the great lizard. “I like you!” guffawed the dragon. “I will grant you one wish, What would you like from me?”
“Uh, a Magic Sword.” stammered Seth.
“Very well, you shall have it!”
The dragon turned and began rooting through his many piles of junk, tossing an old trunk here, passing over a moldy shoe there. Seth had expected a much more rich treasure pile from a dragon, however it appeared that this one had been raiding a trailer park. Finally, the dragon lifted an old beige couch, with some kind of stain on the cushion that Seth didn't want to think about.
“Ah, here it is. This sword was left here by an adventurer who tried to kill me, I can sense its magic, and it is yours.”
The dragon set the sword in front of Seth, who picked it up, looked it over, and then strapped the sheath onto his back.
“Thanks,” stated Seth.
“You are welcome, mortal, now leave my cave before I change my mind and decide to eat your pony!”
The dragon laughed again, as the pony sprinted from the cave in fright. Seth shrugged and followed the pony out of the cave, at a much more reasonable, though meandering pace.
“It is time for us to return, climb on my back and we will leave this magical land!”
Finally, thought Seth, as he climbed onto the pony. The pony again began to run, and the ground began to speed by beneath their feet. They went faster and faster and faster, and Seth became dizzy. The mountains turned to rocks, then to plains, and finally back to trees, and soon they were once again in the magical forest of Albion.
“Here we are at the edge of the forest, Seth. It is time for you to leave. But keep your magical treasures. You will need them soon!” The pony spoke quickly and excitedly, and then pranced away into the forest.
Seth turned and walked away from the forest line, glad that his ordeal was finally over. He would try to sort through what happened later, for now he needed to get to work before he was late.

Musings

Welcome to the 21st century self!

What took you so long?

Ok, for anyone who actually reads this, I've always been against blogging, and facebooking and tweeting. I saw it as a waste if time, a mark of hubris that I didn't have any need to contribute too, or waste my time with.

Many of you may have felt like me, and most of you probably think I'm nuts. My experience with social networking started off shaky, I thought, hey a way for people to connect! Look at all these people I haven't seen in ages, I wonder what they are up too, and how they have been. Most people see social networking in that light, but I seem to have gone about it in the wrong way. I tried to talk to people. I sent emails (which immediately showed how outdated I was) and I attempted to chat with people who were online.

Some of my friends responded favorably, but most of those I saw regularly. Others were confused, put off, and some seemed to think I had invaded a part of their world, where i just wasn't welcome.

I quickly became to believe that the social networking scene was simply a place for people to post what they were up too, and not to actually make connections with people. I was always discouraged when I asked someone how they were doing and they responded, "if you really want to know read my blog, check out my posts, follow me on twitter, but please leave me alone."

So, I did.

I followed some people, and others I glanced at. And I began to think, look at all these people. They have so much to post, they must have fascinating lives. Then I began to think, man why do these people think I care if their cat just coughed up a hair ball that looks like Barry White? I saw social networking, not as networking, but a place for people to show off their ego. And what did I have to contribute to that?

I didn't feel that me posting: went to work today, had any place, it was too mundane to share, and no one would really care. So I didn't post, and soon I didn't log in, and eventually I gave up on making the connections that I had wanted to make in the first place.

Well, today I had a thought: what is wrong with hubris? Without hubris who are we, without dreams we don't achieve, without pride in who we are, and what we do, we will never do anything at all. And I thought, maybe I do have something to contribute.

So this is my attempt.

I have a couple ideas on topics that I will be posting, but I'm not exactly sure where this will go.