Part 1 of the grand adventure

This is a serial I started writing during early weekend mornings at work, when I had little to do. Inspired in part by my neighbor at work Seth, who was less than excited to be included.

Sadly Seth no longer sits next to me at work, so my inspiration has suffered of late. Of course, my productivity at work on Saturday mornings has also skyrocketed. It's possible there is a connection.

Seth and the Pony
Episode 1: Journey into the Forest of Albion
By: S. LeRoy Crane

Seth was standing at the forest’s edge. He had never seen this woodland before, and he was nervous. He could feel the power emanating from the trees, and sense the old magics of the place. He could not understand how something like this could suddenly exist in the world, and he decided that he could live his whole life without knowing the answers to his many questions about the place. Some things are better left alone.
“Seth,” came a voice from the trees, “welcome to the magical forest of Albion!”
Seth turned and came face to face with a magical pony. He could tell it was magical, because it was pink. Also, the fact that it was talking to him was a pretty big give away.
“Come with me Seth, come to the forest of Albion where you will be given three magical items!”
“Uh, thats okay,” Seth replied, “ I don't want to be late for work.”
“Don't be silly,” laughed the pony, “Time is different here, we will have many grand adventures and you will see many wondrous things, and still you will be back in time for work!”
A laughing pony is quite a bit more disturbing than you might think, and Seth decided it was time to leave. He turned around and began walking away from the pony, when suddenly he was standing inside the magical forest beside the pony. Seth was more than a little startled, but before he could begin to walk away again the pony spoke.
“Yay,” Exclaimed the pony, “I am so glad that you decided to come into the forest and play! And now that you are here, you cannot leave until we finish your quest!”
“Great,” grumbled Seth, “Let's get this over with.”
They walked through the forest as the pony danced and sang about the glories of the forest, he pranced here and there, exclaiming how happy he was that Seth was there sharing this adventure with him. Seth meanwhile stalked in silence hoping that this would be over with soon. His stomach began to growl, and he realized he had not eaten breakfast yet. His mind began to wander, and he began to think about eggs and omelets, and decided that if there was time he would cook him one before going to work.
“We are here!” cheered the pony.
And they were indeed there, though where there was, Seth had no idea. He was still in the middle of the forest, following an insane pink pony, without his breakfast, and still worried he would be late for work. Suddenly a small man with pointed ears floated down from one of the nearby trees.
“Hello Seth, I am the wood elf Marby, I am here to bestow your first magical item upon you.” The elf then pulled a small furry ball out of his pocket and handed it to Seth. “This is a wig of the finest quality, with long lustrous fibers, and long luxurious locks of hair. It will help you on your quest!”
“Uh, thanks?” Responded Seth. He couldn't help wonder why he would need a wig, especially since he already had a full head of long luxurious locks of hair. He wasn't about to ask the elf, however, he figured if he kept his mouth shut it would be over much quicker.
“You are very welcome, may the heart of the forest, and the spirits of the trees be well upon you on your travels. And may the wisdom of all the fey folk be a blessing on your head,” verbosed the elf, and with a twinkle of his eye he was gone.
Seth sighed and turned to the pony, “so, where do we go now?”
“Now we go deep into the swamps of Albion to the wooden marshes and the hut of the witch Tina,” exuberated the pony, much too exuberantly.
So they began to walk, and forest began to become far less tree filled, and much more mud filled. They marched through swamp and bog, till finally they reached marsh. The pony kept dancing and prancing the whole way, however, every once in a while he would get stuck and fall face first in the muck. He did not seem to be put down by these falls, but it did give Seth a bit of pleasure every time the pony cried out in fright.
Finally they came upon a small wooden hut. The hut was sitting above the marsh on what appeared to be chicken legs, and the walls and trim appeared to be made from candies. The house had an over reaching feel of decrepitude, and Seth wanted to get this part over with as soon as possible. Seth began wondering if he could sneak away, when the door burst open, and a very large woman emerged from the house.
“I am Tina, The witch of the marsh!” eked the woman, “Welcome to the wooden marshes!”
Tina more rolled through the marsh than walked, as she approached Seth, he got the sense of a great cloud rolling through the countryside. As she moved every inch of her molded and swayed, jiggled or moved around the very currents of the air. The witch no longer just looked fat, she looked immense. She was no longer obese, she was obesity itself. Seth attempted not to gag, with very little success.
“I give unto you the water of life! This water will never run out, and it will always remain cold! You will never be thirsty as long as you keep my gift near you!”
Tina reached into the folds of her robes, and pulled out a very dingy, cheap looking plastic bottle of water. She clutched it in her meaty hand for a few moments and then pressed it into Seth's hand.
“Thanks,” Seth mumbled.
“Now go away!” Tina cried, I have had enough of you, and it is time for my supper.” Tina then turned and rolled back into her house, and slammed the door behind her.
“Wasn't she just amazing!” the pony exclaimed, “but, alas, we must now move on to your next item! Climb on my back, for our next stop is too far for you to make on your own!”
So Seth climbed upon the back of the pony and they began to ride. Beneath their feet the ground began to move faster and faster, until it became a blur before Seth's eyes. The trees gave way to plain, then to rocks, and eventually to mountains. The pony continued to gain speed, and Seth became dizzy.
Suddenly they stopped, and Seth found himself standing before an immense cave. He could barely see past the entrance, it seemed to be darkness upon darkness inside, as if light itself was afraid to enter.
“This is the most dangerous part of our quest,” whispered the pony, “we must be careful.”
Seth entered the cave, the desire to have the whole thing over and done with overwhelmed any sense of fear he might have had. He crossed into the cave and began to feel his way through the dark. The pony entered the cave, and began to snort and sneeze, and a magical goo began spraying from his nostrils. Anything it touched was lit up with a faint pink glow, that smelled like strawberries. Seth began to follow the path of snot and continued down into the dank, dark, and dusky cave. Soon, they came upon a great greenish form, and Seth soon saw that it was some kind of lizard.
“Welcome to my home, young Seth. I see you have brought me a snack! I do love eating magical ponies.” growled the lizard.
“No,” responded Seth.
“Ha!” Laughed the lizard. His laugh echoed and boomed through the cave, and the air began to heat up as hot air and fire bubbled forth from the great lizard. “I like you!” guffawed the dragon. “I will grant you one wish, What would you like from me?”
“Uh, a Magic Sword.” stammered Seth.
“Very well, you shall have it!”
The dragon turned and began rooting through his many piles of junk, tossing an old trunk here, passing over a moldy shoe there. Seth had expected a much more rich treasure pile from a dragon, however it appeared that this one had been raiding a trailer park. Finally, the dragon lifted an old beige couch, with some kind of stain on the cushion that Seth didn't want to think about.
“Ah, here it is. This sword was left here by an adventurer who tried to kill me, I can sense its magic, and it is yours.”
The dragon set the sword in front of Seth, who picked it up, looked it over, and then strapped the sheath onto his back.
“Thanks,” stated Seth.
“You are welcome, mortal, now leave my cave before I change my mind and decide to eat your pony!”
The dragon laughed again, as the pony sprinted from the cave in fright. Seth shrugged and followed the pony out of the cave, at a much more reasonable, though meandering pace.
“It is time for us to return, climb on my back and we will leave this magical land!”
Finally, thought Seth, as he climbed onto the pony. The pony again began to run, and the ground began to speed by beneath their feet. They went faster and faster and faster, and Seth became dizzy. The mountains turned to rocks, then to plains, and finally back to trees, and soon they were once again in the magical forest of Albion.
“Here we are at the edge of the forest, Seth. It is time for you to leave. But keep your magical treasures. You will need them soon!” The pony spoke quickly and excitedly, and then pranced away into the forest.
Seth turned and walked away from the forest line, glad that his ordeal was finally over. He would try to sort through what happened later, for now he needed to get to work before he was late.

Musings

Welcome to the 21st century self!

What took you so long?

Ok, for anyone who actually reads this, I've always been against blogging, and facebooking and tweeting. I saw it as a waste if time, a mark of hubris that I didn't have any need to contribute too, or waste my time with.

Many of you may have felt like me, and most of you probably think I'm nuts. My experience with social networking started off shaky, I thought, hey a way for people to connect! Look at all these people I haven't seen in ages, I wonder what they are up too, and how they have been. Most people see social networking in that light, but I seem to have gone about it in the wrong way. I tried to talk to people. I sent emails (which immediately showed how outdated I was) and I attempted to chat with people who were online.

Some of my friends responded favorably, but most of those I saw regularly. Others were confused, put off, and some seemed to think I had invaded a part of their world, where i just wasn't welcome.

I quickly became to believe that the social networking scene was simply a place for people to post what they were up too, and not to actually make connections with people. I was always discouraged when I asked someone how they were doing and they responded, "if you really want to know read my blog, check out my posts, follow me on twitter, but please leave me alone."

So, I did.

I followed some people, and others I glanced at. And I began to think, look at all these people. They have so much to post, they must have fascinating lives. Then I began to think, man why do these people think I care if their cat just coughed up a hair ball that looks like Barry White? I saw social networking, not as networking, but a place for people to show off their ego. And what did I have to contribute to that?

I didn't feel that me posting: went to work today, had any place, it was too mundane to share, and no one would really care. So I didn't post, and soon I didn't log in, and eventually I gave up on making the connections that I had wanted to make in the first place.

Well, today I had a thought: what is wrong with hubris? Without hubris who are we, without dreams we don't achieve, without pride in who we are, and what we do, we will never do anything at all. And I thought, maybe I do have something to contribute.

So this is my attempt.

I have a couple ideas on topics that I will be posting, but I'm not exactly sure where this will go.